9 Bar

The last of my UK fare is a tasty little bar with wholesome ingredients and edgy packaging designed to appeal to both zen housewives and their rebellious teen progeny. You see, there's a big pot leaf on the front label. This is, of course, there to signify the inclusion of healthy little hemp seeds (only 3% by weight, 20% by label), not at all marketing ploy to attract drug addled teens. But who am I to judge, being a willing victim of the clever packaging myself.

"Whoa maaaaaaaaaaaan," I said to no one, pointing at the little package of wholesomeness and watching, unblinking, the world dissolve around me for five minutes until I was surrounded by three dimensional grids of white hot light.

Not really, I'm just a sucker for healthy little snack bars with "all natural" ingredients, particularly when the label prominently boasts about the protein content.

I don't remember how much this thing cost but, because it was in pounds, it can't have been too cheap. I think it was around a pound and it doesn't seem you can find them for sale in the land of dollars. This is good news for my wallet but bad news for my appetite as I could happily tear through a box of these tasty little morsels each and every day. Delicious, really, and it's all down to the fantastic mixture of tasty ingredients, listed as such:

Sunflower seeds, Pumpkin seeds, Carob topping, Honey, Raw cane sugar, All vegetable margarine, Dehulled hemp seeds (3%), Sesame seeds, Poppy seeds.

Fat, sugars, and protein, all blended in such a way to retain the characteristic flavors of the ingredients without being sickly sweet. Infinitely more addicting than the associated drug yet without any negative side effects (well, except obesity).

I doubt these will be making an appearance in the US anytime soon so, if I find myself in the UK before they're banned I'll be sure to start cramming them in my mouth faster than a stoner can say "huh?". What? I like to savor my food sometimes.